The Smothers Brothers (you remember them, right?) used to do a bit about the best rescue strategy if you ever found yourself drowning in a vat of chocolate. Their conclusion was yell "FIRE" 'cuz no one will ever come running if you yell "CHOCOLATE!"
I think I was recently pushed into a vat of chocolate.
You see, the other day, my significant other (riding in the passenger seat) yelled "TEENAGER!" I could hear the urgency in her voice, but she was yelling "CHOCOLATE!" Just then, a late 80's model white Corolla with a backwards-hat-wearing boy cut the corner, nearly removing my left front fender.
It wasn't the near accident that pissed me off, it was the perturbed look on his face. Perhaps he cuts that corner every day and there had never been anyone there before!
By the way, that significant other I mentioned also yells "DARLING" when there's a deer about to bolt out in front of the car - she doesn't want me confusing "DEER!" with "DEAR!" So now I know that "TEENAGER!" is code for "brace yourself, old man, you're about to become a statistic."
P.S. Thanks to a reader for pointing out it was the Smothers Brothers, not Bill Cosby who did the Vat of Chocolate Routine.
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