Well...um...I'm like sooooo tired of all the silly publicity about my breakup with Ken! I mean we've been going steady for like, 40-something years and this man gags when anyone mentions the 'M' word. I'm not getting any younger, you know! I mean like what more could he want? I've succeeded at every career in the book, have a wardrobe to die for, I'm still like totally hot and what?
Personally, (and I read about this in Cosmo) I think he's just a big stupid baby in a totally buff bod. Oh sure, he looks good, but does he ever want to talk about my feelings? Nooooooooo. Does he really want anything except some on-call booty? I don't thiiiink so.
So, all the stupid Mattel people can say we'll still be friends and that we've, ya know, grown apart. But I say...whaaaatever. Frankly, I was probably much too young when I met him to know any better. What kind of guy spends more energy on his wardrobe than he does on his girlfriend?! Cali thinks Ken is a metrosexual, whatever that is. I think he's just all about Ken.
So Ken--if you read this--thanks for the memories but how long can a girl's wardrobe include everything but a wedding gown? I've got a new policy now: no ring, no booty.
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